Tuesday, January 2, 2018

"What MIT Grad Designed This?"



A favorite saying of mine, as I’ve gone through life criticizing the design and construction of many common, everyday items that we use in this industrialized, high-tech society of ours.  I blame the lack of ‘genius’ coming out of our universities every year, for decades now.  It’s down-right scary, and unforgivable.  I constantly wonder what CEO, COO, CMO, CSO, CFO and board of directors – allow their products to fail so easily?  How do these people sleep at night?   

Technology, in particular, doesn’t work.  To be clear, and fair, a LOT of the time - it doesn’t work.   But, come on, we all know that we fight technology every day, because so often, it just doesn’t work.  Period.  It doesn’t work the way it was promised.  Sometimes it’s a ‘user error’, but NOT usually.  I refuse to be blamed for things that should work, and work always. 

For instance, here’s a short, quick list from the top of my head:

  1. Why do windshield wiper blades squeak?  100+ years of car making, and they can’t figure out how to design wiper blades, using the same ‘technology’ that they used in 1920?  Really?
  2. I got a new laptop last week – it didn’t work.  On a random basis, the screen blacked out, and it wouldn’t come back, so I was having to reboot every couple of hours, losing my work and time.  I had to send it back.
  3. My new high-tech refrigerator is great.  Very expensive.  Very proud.   Oh, but the doors don’t always close – so when they don’t close, an alarm will beep to let you know ‘you’ left the door open.  Really?
  4. I was trying to use ‘gogo’ on American Airlines – to watch movies (for free they say) - it doesn’t work, on my laptop, ipad or phone. 
  5. I bought a new microwave oven last year – expensive – professionally installed.  The door doesn’t close or open properly, unless you ‘trick’ it:  close it, push it up a little, push it down little, do a rain dance in the middle of the kitchen floor – and it should work.   Really?
  6. Wi-Fi in airports – they don’t work . . .  not always.  They tell you they have free wi-fi, but some airports struggle to keep it going, and more-often-than-not, it doesn’t work, and it’s always when you need it most. 
  7. While talking about planes and airports – you know what never works – the volume control for music and video on planes - - the volume is either too loud or too soft, no in between.  Either you blow your eardrums out or you can’t hear it at all.  After 100 years of aviation, billion $ planes – Really?   (and, who is the moron that pics the ‘music’ for these channels?  Really?)
  8. Cable in my house - - sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn’t work.  Period.  It should always work perfectly, 24x7, when I need it, all day every day.  Either its an outside issue, a cable connection issue in the attic, a TV issue, a modem issue or a wi-fi issue.  Really?
  9. The biggest private information security company for all Americans (a monopoly) – with all of our social security numbers and passwords – is hacked – by a 12-year old in Korea.  Really?
  10. You get a new phone, the 19-year old behind the counter says it’s easy to copy all your files from the old phone to the new phone.  No – it’s not, it doesn’t work.  You lose all your texts, contacts and most of your pictures (because some copy over, but not all).  They say they can do it – but no, they can’t either – they’ve ‘never seen this problem before’. . .  Really?  I’m the only one on the planet who wants to keep ALL my data?   “Isn’t it in the cloud” I say . . . ‘yes’ he says.  “Then lets just download it from the cloud – isn’t that the point of the cloud”?  - -  silence.
  11. I got a new phone.  They said to just move the SD card from the old phone to the new phone.  It didn’t fit – too big.  They said, no problem, go to the store and they will cut the card with a razor blade (or you can do it yourself) – then it will fit in the new phone.   Really? 
  12. Phone battery life.   Really?
  13. I was searching for movies on Netflix last night – selected a category – but when the category of movies came up, it was a different category than the one I had selected.   Really?
  14. We went to see a movie the other day – fancy new theater, fancy new technology.  Half way through, the screen went black and no sound.  For 15 minutes.   When it came back, the audience screaming, it re-started at a point 20 minutes before the point that it shut down.   A 2-hour movie took 3 hours to watch.  Really? 
  15. You buy new technology, and follow the directions to a ‘T’ – but the directions leave out a step, or the steps are out of order, and you can’t complete the setup.   And that’s another hot topic – those people who write the directions /documentation . .to anything, where do they get these people, what planet do they all come from?
  16. I have a number of radios with AM/FM, old and new.  You try to set your channel on ‘570’ or any other station, but the needle on the dial doesn’t line up properly to the station.  To get ‘570’, you have to move the dial to ‘610’.   Don’t tell me you don’t know what I mean.  It doesn’t work, never has.
  17. I bought a new stove top last month – a flat, black glass – expensive stove top.  I can’t clean it with soup and water.  So, it looks like a black Mercedes-Benz that just drove through a mud field.  I spill a little egg on the side, and it won’t come off without a special cleaning fluid and sponge, which you can purchase at ‘any’ hardware store.  Really?
  18. Back-up power at the Atlanta airport – the busiest airport on the planet – doesn’t work.  Shuts down 1,500 flights for a day.  People’s lives shattered – millions.  Really?
  19. We live in the newest, high-tech city in America, where we pay the highest power rates on the planet.  At least 1 time a month, summer and winter, our power goes off.  You have to cruise through the house and reset every electrical device to its proper state.  In most African nations, the power goes off, on average, once every 3 months or so because a baboon has eaten through a line.  Really?

Maybe you have better luck with technology, or you just know how to let it slide, and don’t complain.  If that’s you – you’re blessed - awesome.  I was born with the other gene.  

But, I must keep reminding myself of the scripture: Phil 4:13:  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  (well, maybe not ALL things ;{

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