I've been suffering, deeply, inside today.
There was this wedding over the weekend, and in some respects, I didn't show up. OK, I was there, it was my daughter Jorden's wedding. Now, 48 hrs later, I've got some real regrets. It was absolutely beautiful. It was outside, the weather was perfect, the setting was stunning. The vows were said with perfection. The sun, and then the moon, took your breath away. It was pure Texas.
Jorden wasn't just cute that day, she was gorgeous. I'll tell you a secret: I don't know exactly how girls think about these things, but guys judge on a scale of 1- 12, not 1-10. A '10' is pretty darn good. But when you see spot a '12' you're telling the other guys that the scale is broke, this one is off the register. Most Hollywood types are 'fake-8's', they can never go higher on the scale. They're ok of course, but a fake-8 is a robot with money and an agent. A 'Texas 12' on the other hand is the definition of a pure and natural beauty. Usually, she drives an older model car or truck. Usually, she doesn't come from money. Usually, she uses a minimum amount of make-up. Usually, she likes to work hard in the sun and has a big nasty but friendly dog (or two). Usually, she's a bit of a loner but very social. Usually she wears ragged-out blue jeans. Usually she prefers to eat on the hot patio and not inside with the air conditioning. Usually she's a conservative who loves the USA. Usually she's modest to a fault. Usually, a 12 doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. A 'Texas 12' doesn't compete in beauty contests because they don't have the desire to be loved by everyone - but if they did - the world would be embarrassed by the shameful winners that went before them. A '12' is the complete package.
Jorden's a Texas 12. Her sister Hollen is another Texas 12.
So what is my regret? I loved her first. And I didn't remind her or her husband and everyone there, that it was me - who loved her first. I wanted to pick up the mic and take just 2 minutes to remind her, and him, that I Loved Her First. But I didn't.
But, since I have a blog ...... Jeremy:
"I was enough for her not long ago. I was her #1, she told me so. And she still means the world to me just so you know, so be careful when you hold my girl. Time changes everything, life must go on, and I'm not gonna stand in your way.... but I loved her first. I held her first. And a place in my heart will always be hers. From the first breath she breathed, when she first smiled at me, I knew the love of a father runs deep. And I prayed that she'd find you someday, but its still hard to give her away. I loved her first."
Have fun in Mexico Jorden and Jeremy. And don't forget, I loved her first.
3 comments:
Wow Scot! That made me cry! Good job!
Love ya, Tara
04, November 2009
Dear Scott,
As I've not kept up with blogs, or others since the "school year" has begun, Dina forwarded this. I want to let her know I thank her from the depths of my soul for sharing this with me.
Scot, you are such an open person. You have a heart of gold, and not only have you been the most wonderful husband to my "Texas 12" cousin, but you, from what I have heard, are the best father a person could ask for.
I've been ill with that flu virus, and my Scott just came home a little early for the day. Of course, I am on my laptop crying and he asks, "What's wrong?" I could only reply, "Some people in this world are remarkable, and I am blessed to be a part of their lives, even if distance stands in the way."
You and Dina are true role models. I stand, actually at the moment sit, in awe of you both. You touch my heart, and I love, absolutely love, that you express yourself 100%, holding back nothing. Jorden will have this forevermore that her "Daddy" loved her from beginning to end.
Thank you so much for letting me see firsthand what family is supposed to be.
Love and Blessings,
Jamie
Jamie - you're too sweet. You know I first met you and your beautiful sister when I was about 17. You both were like little giggly buttons. At the time, at 17, I thought I was too cool for my own skin - but even at that early age, I saw you two and thought "that would be nice - a couple of those little giggly girls running around my feet just like these two here". I got 'em! You've always been a part of our lives. Get well, stand tall and straight and be proud - our heritage is wonderful and don't forget who you belong to. This world will eat you alive if you vear off the narrow road - so keep looking forward, have fun on the journey and hold the wheel steady. Scot xo
Post a Comment