Monday, January 21, 2019

When the Bottom Falls Out






Everything starts to crash in around you.  Real life-ending terror sets in.  Your chest is pounding, then collapsing.  You can’t breathe.  You can’t see.  You’re shaking.  Fear takes over.


I have a plan for some “worst-case scenarios”, like losing my job, or a major stock market loss, or jail time.  But let’s face it: those aren’t the worst things that can happen.  They’re bad, but fixable.


When you’re younger – say 45 or below, you don’t think much about the “worst-case scenario”.  What is the worst-case scenario?   It’s when the doctor says you have just weeks to live.  Maybe, just days. 


Health – your physical health – is your worst-case scenario.


It seems all you ever hear about these days are the ‘advances’ in medicine and how well things are going out there for the very ill.  Miracle drugs are available.  Hope is on the rise.  Billions of $’s are being spent on research.  “Advances are being made” for this-and-that, they tell us on the daily news.  There’s another 10k run, every Saturday morning, to fix it all. 

Ya, right.

Not for you.  Not for your closest friends.  Not for your family members.  We all get those ‘other’ diseases – the ones no-one has figured out.  Those billions of $’s haven’t paid off yet, or even spent, on what ails you and the people you love most.  No, it’s not happening. 

I become defiant and my rebel heart turns to stone.  Bitterness creeps into my soul.   

I begin to rationalize and get mad, saying “God doesn’t fix those things”.  Not through medicine or prayer – he does not fix those.   There are some things he will not do – no matter how much you beg.  (for example: ALS, Hemophilia, Cancers, Dementia / Alzheimer’s).  Not in our earthly form anyway, not what we want here and now on planet earth.  Yes – for believers – the ultimate ‘healing’ is the promise of eternal life with Christ and with those who have gone before us.  We all desire that, and it’s a certainty – a guarantee for us.  As Paul said – “to live is Christ, to die is gain.”

But that’s not the answer I want – not now.   Yes, our time on earth, in these empty shells, is temporary.  Eternity is forever.  So why not enjoy this short earthly existence for 80-100 years?  Healthy and happy.  It doesn’t seem too much to ask.  Your closest friends tell you “God still heals!”.  But does he?  Not always – is the unfortunate answer.

I want the earthly healing, real physical healing, here and now – right now.  Like the blind man, the leaper, the crippled, the demon possessed, the dead.  I want it NOW God.  And what a witness that would be to non-believers, to see that miracle happen.  You could prove once and for all that your God is listening and that He cares, and that He is powerful - that He really does answer our prayers - and the only way to salvation.  You beg – with real sincerity: “God, come on, just do it, right now please – you said if I just ask, you will answer, and give me the desires of my heart.”  Prove it.

But it doesn’t happen.  No luck.  And I am prone to give up.  We’re all prone to give up.  Hundreds of prayers, no, thousands, have been lifted-up to the one true God, the creator of the universe, the one who promises to heal.   

And nothing happens.


To add insult to injury, if you complain about it, you feel shame – shame that you would be so shallow as to think you know best.  Shame that you question God.  You know better.  Then you feel guilty: “I don’t have enough Faith” I say – “if I just had more faith in God, he would do this for me”.  You punish yourself – then you get madder, and you shout to God to stop this cruel joke He is playing on you and everyone.

And nothing happens.  Silence.  Dead Silence.


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Then . . .  you are reminded of this one thing:  He Is God.  To begin to think that you know what He knows, or you know better, is nuts.  Something is happening, something you can’t see or understand. We are bound by time and space.  He is outside of it.  We can’t explain it - we don’t have to.  He alone is in charge. 


“But If Not” – even if you don’t answer my prayer the way I wanted you to – I will still follow you, I will still believe and trust.   It will be hard – but I will stay with you.  What other choice do I have?  You alone are God.  

So…Give up.  Surrender.  When you say ‘Lord, enough.  I give it all to you now’ - - -  you are free.



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